wisdom or old age?

talking about movies and books and childhood crushes and romance ... i wonder why i dont read romances any more. i mean the m&b kinds, the nora roberts novels. i wouldn't mind a georgette heyer still - i like georgette heyers for the fun and great sense of humour.

how come romances do not appeal to me any more? the question is noteworthy because like i wrote in a previous post i started reading romances since my seventh standard. and i have devoured tons of them over the years - tons and tons of them. but now i dont read them anymore.

i am more interested in quantum physics and biology... you get the picture, dont you. surprising when i never understood what heisenberg's uncertainty principle truly meant all those years back. i did not understand the significance of einstein's relativity theory or why energy and matter are the same after all. or the double slit experiment that proved that an electon acted as both a particle and a wave. though nobody knows exactly why, there are a number of theories now.

so i wonder at this sudden interest of mine in the big bang theory, in black holes - yes, i am mesmerized by black holes, i am fascinated at the stars. i am in love with the sun, more so because it is is winter, and when it shows up in the sky like it did today after 3 days of clouds and rain and the first snow showers, i am ecstactic and joyful ... and thankful.

i am in wonder when i look at the plants and trees - these are my friends when i look out of my office window. they keep me company the whole day - with their changing colors and bright hues. the leaves have all fallen now but the trees still look beautiful. and i think there is a purpose in the leaves falling - it lets more of the winter sunshine reach my home.

i am in awe of the cells in my body that function day in day out without tiring or getting bored doing the same thing. what keeps them going? what motivates them and inspires them? do they ever go to sleep? do they hibernate? when do they rest?

away from the pressures of school and work, my curiosity seems to be growing every day. i want to know why and how everything works...

is that a sign of old age or is that signs of wisdom? :):)

taare zameen par

we watched this movie over the weekend and my husband and i both loved it. great story, great acting. the kid was so cute and adorable and suited the role so well.

whenever i watch some great acting, i am in awe of the person and in admiration of their talent. but i have always wondered how one can make a child act and emote - of course, they must be talented, no doubt about that, but how do they express themselves so well? all the kids in the movie were phenomenal, especially the lead kid - ishaan. what expressions - just did not feel like he was acting. he was such a natural.

the movie reminded me of my own childhood days - school and studies. the nightmares and the fears and the pressures. my neices and nephews attend schools that seem to be no different - in fact they seem to be worse. huge portions, heavy bags, little creativity, long hours! the very thought makes me cringe every time.

on the brighter side, there is a lot of change happening in our country. there are lots of ngos who are working towards transforming education. the educated masses understand and are fighting for a change. change is coming, it is slow and limited to places and areas but it is coming.

the first whiff of romance...

i still remember those days when we got our first television. black and white it was. i was in my 7th standard. got hooked on to cricket immediately. we won the benson and hedges world series cricket under gavaskar and shastri won the man of the series award. how the girls in the class drooled over him. some of us did not like him and we would have arguments and fights over who was the best player and who the most handsome!

yeah, those were the wild teen years when the sight of a handsome guy stirred romance in the heart. wonder how many crushes each one of us must have had as we grew up. TV characters from buniyaad, hum log, trishna. talking about trishna - this was the hindi serial based on jane austen's pride and prejudice. i had read the abridged version and coming to think of it that was my first romance in life. i was totally in love with darcy. totally and completely. so much so when trishna aired on TV - i considered it my solemn duty to fall in love with tarun dhanrajgir who played darcy. i must have watched it all the three times they showed it on TV.

school was interesting - not so much for the studies as for the early morning post episode discussions we had before classes started. each episode would be dissected, thoroughly analyzed and all future possibilities discussed. dilli waala and veeravali from buniyad were favorites till teh director and writer seperated them and we all cried at the tragedies life throws our way.

yeah, those were the days...of innocence and naievety and romance. i remember my history teacher telling us in our seventh standard - she had two children of her own - and maybe she thought she was doing us a big favor - whatever it was - this is what she said one day - dont ever read harold robbins and mills&boon. and guess what happened after that - we hunted down our first mills&boon - a classmate quietly hijacked it from her older siblings' collection and we had our first taste of m&bs...

Color color what color do you choose

Brown, red, orange, yellow - add different shades to these colors and liberally sprinkle them all over the country side - that's the fall foliage.

I first spotted these colors and was majorly excited 7 years back. I was visiting a friend in Boston and I flew down to Manchester in NH. The to and from drive to Boston from Manchester was maginificient. Never had I seen nature in greater splendor, all possible hues, glowing in true glory. I had committed them to memory.

Last year, fall came and I was excited about the fall foliage, hoping to see nature's grandeur. I was disappointed. Even more so because I had raised my husband's expectations of what he would get to see. Either we were too early or too late or maybe the fall colors just didnot come that vibrantly. I wondered if I dreamt all those colors way back then.

This year has been amazing. The colors are all over the place. So vibrant and so wonderful. Esp. when the sun's rays are falling on the leaves.

Fall is coming to an end. The leaves are all falling off. And we are expecting our first snow of the winter in a day...

Right Brain, Left Brain, God, Energy, Peace, Love and Nirvana ...

I have no idea if the brain is physically organized as left and right brains. Some doctor friends disagree with that. Is it just a conceptual or a logical seperation then? Who knows!

I came across this video by accident ... after I watched it, I knew it was no accident...it was a synchronocity. It is 18 minutes long. Has a slow start but is very very effective. I found it very powerful ... and moving.

http://blog.ted.com/2008/03/jill_bolte_tayl.php

...woh baarish ka pani...

isn't it always amazing how we miss the past? there are times when i miss those days when we were all together ... i mean my family was all together. we were a large family. four girls and a boy. i wonder how my mom put up with us. our tantrums, our fights, our wishes, our wants.

i remember lots of fun times together. when the rains would fall in summer. in bengal, where we lived then, it was a daily ritual for rains to fall in the afternoons during the hot summers. the thunder and lightning was scary - every single time i would think - this is it - the world is coming to an end. such was the ferocity of the winds, the loudness of the thunder, the strike of lightning. trees fell. leaves fell. flowers fell. pollen flew. after the storm came the calm. silent and peaceful. and beautiful. mom would make hot hot pakodas or bajjis or the like and we would sit in the verandah enjoying the rain and the stillness after.

i would give anything to have those days back. those blissful days. simple. uncomplicated. ignorant of life. of life's surprises. i would give anything to have my dad back in my life. i wouldn't fight with him anymore. i wouldn't argue with him anymore. i would take back every single nasty word i might have spoken. if i could only touch him and be able to call him "naana" and hear him call my name in his own special way.

What changed?

Three families meet for dinner one Saturday evening. There are three children - a brother and sister aged 3 and 6 respectively and another little girl about 1.5. The two girls are more outgoing and enjoy themselves running around, playing with each other and inventing of new games.
The little boy, a shy little thing, stays with either parent closely for the better part of the evning refusing to mingle, hiding his face in the crux of a parent's shoulder, refusing to look at anyone. His parents dont know what to do. They apologize for their son saying he is too shy and he is always like this. At home, of course, he is different. The adults in the room agree that he is very shy and playfully enjoy a laugh. This is not happening for the first time. The families have met many a time before and the little boy's behavior has been consistent. Even when he played with the other girls, he wore a face of reluctance and boredom.
Dinner is served. Conversationally, the mother of the little boy says that he refused to come when he was told they were going to P Auntie's place for dinner. Even before she completes her sentence, her son starts wailing - continues for about 10 mins. The mother is frustrated and scolds her son with dire results. The crying does not stop. It just gets longer and shriller. Realizing that the boy is not enjoying being the center of attention, the adults divert their attention to the other two kids and change the topic of conversation. Not long after, the boy stops crying.
Dinner is over and dessert is over. A lady in the group sings a wonderful Carnatic song. Everyone appreciates her. There is clapping. The six year old girl bouyed by the enthusiasm and the appreciation volunteers to sing next. An English song. She looks at eveyone as if asking if that is ok. Of course. So what if it is English? Everyone is looking at the six year old waiting for her to sing. She runs numerous tunes through her head trying to figure out what to sing. Her voice is soft and low but she sings beautifully. Praise flows. Claps follow...encouragement and appreciation.
The little boy is watching everyone. There is a visible change in his energy. He no longer is looking shy. He no longer is hiding his face. He joins his sister and sings along with her. His voice is slightly louder and firmer. They sing some lines from Thomas the Tank Engine. The boy continues to sing the same lines over and over again. He knows he does not know the whole song but he is singing. More claps. More praise. More encouragement. More appreciation. More motivation.
It is time to leave. The guests start to leave. Everyone is happy and waving good byes. Including the little boy. He waves his hand. He says good bye. He looks at people straight.
On earlier occasions, the little boy would hide his face in his father's shoulder holding on to him tightly as if he was surrounded by hostile aliens and would have refused to look at anyone. He would refuse to say good byes or talk.
What changed?