...woh baarish ka pani...

isn't it always amazing how we miss the past? there are times when i miss those days when we were all together ... i mean my family was all together. we were a large family. four girls and a boy. i wonder how my mom put up with us. our tantrums, our fights, our wishes, our wants.

i remember lots of fun times together. when the rains would fall in summer. in bengal, where we lived then, it was a daily ritual for rains to fall in the afternoons during the hot summers. the thunder and lightning was scary - every single time i would think - this is it - the world is coming to an end. such was the ferocity of the winds, the loudness of the thunder, the strike of lightning. trees fell. leaves fell. flowers fell. pollen flew. after the storm came the calm. silent and peaceful. and beautiful. mom would make hot hot pakodas or bajjis or the like and we would sit in the verandah enjoying the rain and the stillness after.

i would give anything to have those days back. those blissful days. simple. uncomplicated. ignorant of life. of life's surprises. i would give anything to have my dad back in my life. i wouldn't fight with him anymore. i wouldn't argue with him anymore. i would take back every single nasty word i might have spoken. if i could only touch him and be able to call him "naana" and hear him call my name in his own special way.