Right Brain, Left Brain, God, Energy, Peace, Love and Nirvana ...

I have no idea if the brain is physically organized as left and right brains. Some doctor friends disagree with that. Is it just a conceptual or a logical seperation then? Who knows!

I came across this video by accident ... after I watched it, I knew it was no accident...it was a synchronocity. It is 18 minutes long. Has a slow start but is very very effective. I found it very powerful ... and moving.

http://blog.ted.com/2008/03/jill_bolte_tayl.php

...woh baarish ka pani...

isn't it always amazing how we miss the past? there are times when i miss those days when we were all together ... i mean my family was all together. we were a large family. four girls and a boy. i wonder how my mom put up with us. our tantrums, our fights, our wishes, our wants.

i remember lots of fun times together. when the rains would fall in summer. in bengal, where we lived then, it was a daily ritual for rains to fall in the afternoons during the hot summers. the thunder and lightning was scary - every single time i would think - this is it - the world is coming to an end. such was the ferocity of the winds, the loudness of the thunder, the strike of lightning. trees fell. leaves fell. flowers fell. pollen flew. after the storm came the calm. silent and peaceful. and beautiful. mom would make hot hot pakodas or bajjis or the like and we would sit in the verandah enjoying the rain and the stillness after.

i would give anything to have those days back. those blissful days. simple. uncomplicated. ignorant of life. of life's surprises. i would give anything to have my dad back in my life. i wouldn't fight with him anymore. i wouldn't argue with him anymore. i would take back every single nasty word i might have spoken. if i could only touch him and be able to call him "naana" and hear him call my name in his own special way.

What changed?

Three families meet for dinner one Saturday evening. There are three children - a brother and sister aged 3 and 6 respectively and another little girl about 1.5. The two girls are more outgoing and enjoy themselves running around, playing with each other and inventing of new games.
The little boy, a shy little thing, stays with either parent closely for the better part of the evning refusing to mingle, hiding his face in the crux of a parent's shoulder, refusing to look at anyone. His parents dont know what to do. They apologize for their son saying he is too shy and he is always like this. At home, of course, he is different. The adults in the room agree that he is very shy and playfully enjoy a laugh. This is not happening for the first time. The families have met many a time before and the little boy's behavior has been consistent. Even when he played with the other girls, he wore a face of reluctance and boredom.
Dinner is served. Conversationally, the mother of the little boy says that he refused to come when he was told they were going to P Auntie's place for dinner. Even before she completes her sentence, her son starts wailing - continues for about 10 mins. The mother is frustrated and scolds her son with dire results. The crying does not stop. It just gets longer and shriller. Realizing that the boy is not enjoying being the center of attention, the adults divert their attention to the other two kids and change the topic of conversation. Not long after, the boy stops crying.
Dinner is over and dessert is over. A lady in the group sings a wonderful Carnatic song. Everyone appreciates her. There is clapping. The six year old girl bouyed by the enthusiasm and the appreciation volunteers to sing next. An English song. She looks at eveyone as if asking if that is ok. Of course. So what if it is English? Everyone is looking at the six year old waiting for her to sing. She runs numerous tunes through her head trying to figure out what to sing. Her voice is soft and low but she sings beautifully. Praise flows. Claps follow...encouragement and appreciation.
The little boy is watching everyone. There is a visible change in his energy. He no longer is looking shy. He no longer is hiding his face. He joins his sister and sings along with her. His voice is slightly louder and firmer. They sing some lines from Thomas the Tank Engine. The boy continues to sing the same lines over and over again. He knows he does not know the whole song but he is singing. More claps. More praise. More encouragement. More appreciation. More motivation.
It is time to leave. The guests start to leave. Everyone is happy and waving good byes. Including the little boy. He waves his hand. He says good bye. He looks at people straight.
On earlier occasions, the little boy would hide his face in his father's shoulder holding on to him tightly as if he was surrounded by hostile aliens and would have refused to look at anyone. He would refuse to say good byes or talk.
What changed?

Say cheese...

We were travelling this past week. NYC. Washington. In-laws are visiting us. One trip to Niagara Falls and we can tick our list of to do's and must see's.
Vacationing is fun, when you dont have to do the dishes, worry about what to cook next, what to wear to work, what to do at work...
Email anxiety, no - when hotels charge you for internet access ... but if access was free, we would be on the net every minute acting like important CEOs whose companies are on the verge of a crisis. Checking email an umpteen number of times so as not miss anything important... and if there were no mails it was good reason to whine because it obviously meant that nobody cared for you enough ...
Photo anxiety, yes. My husband loves taking pictures. Not just taking them - for him it is an art. The lighting, the background, the angle, the distance, the sun, the grins ... smiles are not good enough. You have to stand there till he gets everything right and you should not forget to smile, I forget, grin ... All that is well enough except that he never is part of the pictures because he is so passionate about taking them. The rest of us want our revenge so we force him to be part of some. We take pictures of him but he is not very pleased ... because they dont come as well as when he takes them! I dont seem to have the patience or the judgment - for me taking a picture is Focus, Say Cheese, Click...that's it...and as long as I have not cut people's heads off, I am pleased with my work...

On a roll...

Two weeks pass by since my last encounter with the skates. My husband would provoke me but I would come up with all kinds of reasons for not skating. We were going to return them - I had made up my mind.

Then one Saturday, we went to Lake George with friends. We took the skates along - no idea, what or how I wanted to do it. Did not get a chance to inaugurate while at the lake.

We returned home in the evening. It was nearly 7pm. My husband encouraged me try out the skates (surprisingly! till then he had done his best inspiring me with skating stories involving broken bones and what not...). So I wore my pads and helmet and got into my skating shoes. Felt like I was being led to the guillotine - I was really scared. But then haven't we mastered to put on a brave face? So I put on a brave face and held on to my hubby tightly - very. For over twenty minutes we went around slowly. I tripped quite a few times, but thanx to my hubby, I was still in one piece.

S slowly started loosening his hold on me. After about 40 minutes, I decided to try on my own - and to my surprise I was able to drag myself by myself with S close behind. It gave me a lot of confidence.

Monday came - and I went out bravely myself. I was intending to practice in the parking lot next to the swimming pool in our apartment complex. There were men cleaning the pool before opening it for the summer. I wore my pads and the skates and sat in the trunk for a long time - for over fifteen minutes before I put my first step forward. I was a source of amusement to the pool cleaners. After that, there has been no looking back. I read up skating tips and instructions on the web. Saw some videos on you tube. The web was my new found instructor.

I have finished ten hours of skating so far - keep practising and practising in the park. People who see me regularly in the park cheer me up. That keeps me going. It is a funny sight - as I drag my left foot while I push forward on my dominant right foot. Remember how little boys used to learn cycling - on their dad's bikes when we were kids? pedalling with their right legs and dragging their left leg along? That is how I did it. Funny it looks.

In my last outing, I have been able to skate with both my legs - I need a lot more practice with balance and coordination but I am on a roll. It is exciting. It is empowering because I did it all on my own without an instructor just following my body's instructions and my intuition. But what keeps me going is the exercise I get - skating has been good exercise - and that's a big deal indeed because I put on weight so easily. Now I know I can have a dozen kids (just kidding - dont be shocked!) and get back into shape skating right away:)

What I learned from my skating expedition -
1. Be in the moment, if I am thinking of something else and not focussing, chances of falling are pretty high
2. Keep fear at bay, the many times I fell was because of fear, I let fear control me and lost my calm and common sense in the process and would go crashing down
3. Listen to the body, the body sets the right pace for you.
4. Patience, dont be impatient, remember Rome was not built in a day
5. Practice, even if it is for 15 minutes, practice, practice regularly.
6. Dont be afraid to fall, dont think you are looking stupid - remember, those who have learned the sport will remember what they went through and those who dont skate will admire you for your courage.

So get your skates and roll...

Grapes turn Sour...

For many years I have wished to roller skate. I was fascinated when I first saw men and women skate in a Boston park - it was the summer of 2000.

In summer, it is hard not to notice skaters happily gliding past you. Cold, long, snowy winters make you determined to make the most out of the summer months. So, this summer, I did not want to lose any time. After convincing my husband that I would be okay, that I would try hard not to break any bones, I got my skates kit.

The first time I tried my skates (other than in the sports store) was on the carpeted floor at home. Wow! I was able to stand and move around. The blades did not seem at all dangerous. With my new found confidence, I set off to a nearby park the next day. I sat in my car (in the parking lot that was in the middle of the park) and put on all the protective gear - helmet and all kinds of pads. I wore my skates too. I was in the backseat and realized that getting out of the car was going to be tough. Obviously, the tar surface is no carpet! I had to literally shove myself out of the car - and landed on the ground with a thud. Looking up I noticed a couple of women walking in my direction and trying hard not giggle. They went past pretending not to notice.

Thankfull, there was grass nearby. So, I gingerly crawled to the grass surface and stood up. Oops! the blades were real dangerous! Crossing the grass I stepped on to a pathway - I have no idea what happened next because I landed with a big thud. I hurt my right elbow real hard as I tried to support myself during the fall. It took me some ten to fifteen minutes to wear my pads and helmet. But it took me only a couple of minutes to tear them from my body. I took off the skates and walked to my car and dumped all the stuff in the trunk. I am done with skating, I told myself. I called my husband and told him my skating adventure is over. I was not going to get started on something that will land me in bed with broken bones. With the whole summer lying ahead and with the numerous stuff I was engaged in, it seemed not worth the while. Pictures of myself lying with a cast crossed my mind many a time.

I did not want to do anything with skating any more. I was determined to return the entire kit! I was disappointed for not realizing my dream - but look at the brighter side of it - I would get my money back! The grapes were indeed turning sour...

Short and Sweet

Hello kenny, airspy, choxbox! Thanx for the blogging inspiration. I have been planning to blog for quite sometime now but not this soon. I have been procrastinating...

Wanted to get started ... so short and sweet it will be ...