We were in Las Vegas last month on our way to Hawaii for a 2 week vacation. It was a Saturday and we went to this Sahara casino for a buffet lunch.
There was this woman, an African-American, who was clearing the used plates as and when they piled up on the tables. S and I were concentrated on our food when a conversation at the next table fell on our ears. The woman was talking to a couple sitting at the table. Maybe they asked her how she manages her life and kids living in the Sin City. She said she told her kids that their job is to "focus" and "study" well. She is working hard to provide them a good education and it is their responsibility to mindful of the fact. She has also told them to "be a leader and not a follower".
Wow! I think. What an amazing piece of advice from a mom!
I am now listening intently catching every word she utters. Be a friend to your children, she tells the couple. You have to understand them and be their friend, not a judgmental adult. It also depends, she continues, on how we communicate. Many times, she says, we are so wrapped up with our own thoughts and beliefs, we tend to misunderstand what the other person is actually saying. Ask the person, "is this what you are saying?" instead of fuming and getting into a rage. You will at most times find that when the other person explains what they actually meant, that it was not meant the way you understood.
Now, I am sitting there and remembering the times when I could have easily misunderstood someone ...
At times like these, when everyone is looking for leaders and hoping a leader would emerge and lead the masses, I remember this mother's words and wonder - why cant each one of us be a leader?
In which we re-read "1984"
4 years ago
2 comments:
aren't we already pg? which one of us is a follower tell me!
agree with you that none of us are followers. just been introspecting choxbox. have been reading forums and boards where some people are hoping for a leader to arise and lead the masses. of course, we need good leaders to lead the country and we dont have much choice at the moment. but dont each of us have responsibility? then there are people who are say all of us have individual and colective responsibility. then i think, ok, it starts with self. how many times have i voted? never? do i have a voter's card - never got it done. why? politics is bad. all the politicians are bad. so stay away from it. they dont deserve my vote.
then i remember the time when i needed to get my passport renewed and needed a police clearance certificate. i had to run around the station quite a few times and i had to dish in some money to get the work done. not that i am proud of it. why did i HAVE to do it? because it would have taken weeks for things to move. so? why couldn't i wait? people around me told me there was no other way. i was desperate and i believed them. and one look at the some of the police stations and the people there and i dont even wish to go back there again and deal with them. an instance where i cant use an agent to get the work done.
when i was in bangalore, i would take the help of agents to get some of my work done, when it came to car registrations, car transfers etc - yeah, because it was easier and i did not have to deal with the bribes directly... sorry for the long answer -
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